Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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