Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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