i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
