Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
