is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize