Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
