So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
