My sheets look like a crime scene.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
