I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
