You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
