dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
