We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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