Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My dick has a subreddit
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
