It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
