Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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