Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
