I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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