i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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