Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
