the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize