i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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