You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
