i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
