So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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