i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
