All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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