I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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