no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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