Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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