Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
