I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
