im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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