sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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