Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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