In the future we'll all be gay
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
