He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have feelings that need drinking.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
