I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
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What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
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We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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