Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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