How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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