Sry I called you an 8
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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