Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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