In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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