how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
