idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
