just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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