Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh god the rape fog is back!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
