There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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