"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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