just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize