He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
