Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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