Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
