my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
