I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Randomize
