sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
